Courage to Change 

Everyday, or so, I pray for the courage to change. If it is a constant in life, then I must be some variable that submits to it. But it is so hard sometimes. Change. 

I used to be so sensitive as a child; too many words and events had rubbed me up wrong and I was always so scared to be open and vulnerable. That human hesitation. Anyway, I came up with a shield to help me survive: I made sure to attempt perfection in every endeavour, and if I couldn’t see it being perfect, I hated to attempt it. Failure was destruction to me. I couldn’t understand and handle failing at anything. Oh, I gave the outward appearance that it was no big deal, but inside, I turned it around over and over and over until the matter was shredded and I still had no answers. 

See, I grew up this way. Until I realized that I simply couldn’t live like this anymore. Life is full of “failing” because nobody is perfect and there is this tiny obstruction of about 6 billion other humans on the same planet as you. So, I had to change…from within… It is the hardest thing you can imagine. 

But it wasn’t just hard. It was necessary and important for me to change. If I really wanted progress in my life, I had to do this. I had to learn to start changing my perspectives, my actions and my reactions. That in itself is scary, because let’s be honest, everyone still likes the way they are. It’s comfortable and gets you nowhere. Having to deal with external responses to your change is also scary, but that’s why it requires courage. 

So I pray, and I ask the Lord to help me handle change. Not to run from it. Not to hide behind it. But to face it, give myself to it, and wait for the results of it. 

Maybe you need some courage for change today, too. Ask Him; He’s always happy to help! 

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Tribute to People I Love

This 👆👆is my older sister, my mother’s first born child. She’s president of the Eagles Toastmaster’s Club in Lagos, Nigeria. She has an adorable son, and I love her too much. 

This is my long time friend… Sekyen Temang… 

Another adorable pumpkin in my life. Can’t help her loyalty… 💓❤❤

My brother, who calls me his girlfriend. Lol. Always in my corner. I couldn’t appreciate you enough, boo!!! 

Just because I don’t have a regular picture. Lol… She’s a special, special friend. ❤❤❤

Finishing Strong

Faithful, Fruitful and Effective

Hi, friends! I apologize for the gulley in transmission (because I know it’s worse than a break!). Please forgive me. 

I have something for you today that isn’t like my usual prosaic renditions, but it’s a desire of mine. An eternal desire, if you will. I pray it sparks up a longing for more within you.

Enjoy! 

At the end of time

One thing I hope to find

Is the satisfaction and joy

That comes from a life well lived
At the end of time

I desire to stand

In the sands of time

And be happy with what my feet have imprinted
At the end of time

I want to smile

In spite of my mistakes and errors

And be glad I stood up after each fall
At the end of time

I want men to sigh, shake heads,

And say,

We’re glad we met Ele
At the end of time

I want to be a tree

Deeply rooted, always blooming

And leaving fruit behind
At the end of time

I want to be that tiny change

That caused the mighty one

That makes the world better
At the end of time

I want evil to gnash its teeth

At the sound of my name

Because of how much I harmed it
At the end of time

If I have a tombstone

I want these words on it:

Faithful, Fruitful, and Effective 

25: Girl On Fire

It’s pretty obvious what today is, isn’t it? And I can feel my silliness climbing rapidly. Oh well.

I’d always attempted to imagine what it’d feel like when I turned 25. Definitely not like this. For me, it’s a dawning. The past couple of years have been crazier than words can describe, and I had thought that I need to get my act together before I step on this threshold of 25. You see, it’s like a line that I’m crossing. I wanted to cross the line without my plethora of mistakes and at least the semblance of a presentable life.

The past few years leading up to this one have been trying, to say the least. However, they have also been the building blocks that led me here. There were days when I longed to be someplace else but where I was, with someone else other than the people I was with, and even someone else than who I am. I longed to escape the discomfort, the pain, the troubles, the uncertainties and the pressures. But I’m glad I didn’t. 

Arriving at this threshold made me realize a number of things. I’ll share.

  • Perspective means everything. God’s perspective is everything.
  • While a lot comes with age, even more comes with humility and obedience. 
  • There is nothing as important as my heart. It is what makes me who I am and what defines the continuity of my existence. 
  • There’s no point trying to prove a point. 
  • Contentment is a worthy companion. She comes along with peace, tomorrow’s promise, and the steadiness that protects faith from wreckage.
  • There will never come a day when anyone is 100% satisfied with me, and vice versa. Righteousness is simply good for me. 
  • God is truly not angry with me.
  • I’ll always be imperfect, but there’s not another of me anywhere on the planet, so I’d better give my best to those I am with and be happy with this me. 

My heart is full, and my narrative lacks coherence, but I can’t seem to coordinate properly thinking about God’s grace. Suddenly, His corrections and instructions are full of life to me. Suddenly, He is more precious to me than I ever esteemed. Suddenly, I really panic at the thought of doing without Him. And suddenly, in my seeming moment of great defeat and “non spirituality”, His Words are becoming life to me. Everything God says has taken on a new and deeper meaning. And it is getting easier to see me the way He always did.

Now I know what I want to look like in 25 years: A tree planted by the rivers of living waters; oak of righteousness, the planting of the Lord; flourishing in the courts of God

I want to be a steady, fruitful, wise, insightful woman who dispenses wealth and whose life is deeply impactful in all the ways that matter. And as long as I keep my heart on my precious Lord whose strength is mine, you’ll be reckoning with a fiery force in another quarter of a century! 

I’m planted; ready to flourish. I’m lit; ready to glow. I’m here; ready to stay. Ready to live, to love and to conquer! 

I’m on fire. 

Brave: Live The Whisper 

Hi! 

I’d intended to put up this post 2 months ago, but I got busy and I resumed second-guessing whether I was being honest enough with myself and with you who take the time to read this. 

I’m taking a little diversion, but I’m still within the circle of Bravery I’ve been on for some time now. 

So, over a month ago, I collected my NYSC certificate. It was uneventful. There was less ceremony than at the take off point last June. It was just me, walking into the Secretariat in Lafia town, submitting my ID card and signing for the certificate. No fuss. And when I looked at the certificate, a seemingly flimsy piece of paper that represents my energy and resource exertion for the past year, tears formed in my eyes. Memories that transcended even the past year flooded my mind. And a happiness that I’m not even going to attempt to describe.

I was deployed to Yobe State, and I had plans to redeploy to Makurdi, Benue State. Those plans didn’t pan out, but I got close – Nasarawa. I was posted to Keffi LG at first, and it took me two to three months to get rezoned to Lafia.

Many people asked me, Ele, what’s the fuss? It’s NYSC, you can do it anywhere. In fact, you should do it far from home. But I had decided on this path before I even received a message from NYSC. I wanted to serve in Makurdi because of my church. I know, I know. If it’s meant to be, when you get back after a year, it will be. Well, the thing is, the church isn’t a boy who is wondering if he can wait a year for me. The church is me and other believers, and it is as much a part of me as my hands or my intestines are. And I didn’t go away for a year and leave my hands behind. 

It was hard, all round. I was on the road more times than I was OK with. I was fatigued a lot because of the commuting. I wanted to be in church in Makurdi and I wanted to really serve the country, so getting rezoned to Lafia served both purposes for me. Many days, transport fare was all I could think about. I had to take up eating more than usual, quite necessarily. 

There were days when I woke up in the morning with thoughts telling me to just explain how difficult this was to my pastor, and wheedle my way into moving to Nasarawa. After all, it was what I was supposed to be doing. And then I wouldn’t have to “embarrass” myself all the time looking and praying for transport fare. But just as soon as the thought arose, I would remember -not necessarily something the Holy Ghost said- that I had made this choice long before the present moment, and that God had strengthened me already. It took more courage than I imagined I had, but I wouldn’t back down.

Days passed. I went and came every week. Sweet Lord, I was a good French teacher, too! I participated in my CDS and in a short space of time, I became a person even the leaders could talk to. In the end, I was glad I did what I did because I had changed so dramatically as a person I almost couldn’t believe it. 

I am telling this story because in times like the present, it is almost always so much easier to do what will bring you personal gain. We see no reason to simply do things that have no direct profit coming to us, and it shows. I was advised severally (until now, I might add) to focus on doing things that will “up my game”, make me more “valuable” and give me more money. But like Ralph Waldo Emerson said, you shouldn’t expect everyone else to live by the whisper you alone heard. And none of that is the whisper I heard. 

I alone hear the whispers in my heart. I know where God is calling me. So often, it feels like a dark and lonely road, and I wonder, why isn’t anyone else walking with me? Why aren’t You calling anyone else here? But no matter how scared I feel, how risky it seems or how dead the path looks, I decided to go where the whisper leads…on that road where He calls me. 

Live by the whispers in your heart, the ones that have been there since you considered yourself innocent. The ones that scare you and make your heart pump wildly. The ones that you know are crazy because no one else can hear this madness that God is insisting upon in your tender heart. The ones that spoke words that you still long for… And if you can’t hear the whispers anymore, then go to the Whisperer, and tell Him your emptiness and your longing. Wait in His presence as long as it takes. And then, when you hear it… 

Live boldly. Live loudly. Live you. Live true. Live the whisper inside. 

Psalm 23:3

He leads me in the paths of righteousness, for His name sake…

Brave, Courage & Bold III

I’ll be turning 25 in less than a month. It’s been quite a reflective time for me. Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I’ve been reading Yours Truly, Ele Momoh. And I am seeing myself through new eyes. 

In reading, I’m realizing that I have been a certain way, with certain thoughts, certain perspectives and a certain way of interpreting life for a long time. I realize that the same things have been important to me for a long time too. 

The one thing that I find I need to address as I approach this quarter of my life (I mean, I may just decide to live to be a hundred!) is the need to be courageous, brave and bold. 

Someone once said, Don’t tell a child to be creative. Insert them in a situation or an environment where they would be hard pressed not to be creative. I feel God is doing the same thing to me. He has told me for so long to be strong and courageous. Every time, I have managed to compromise and withdraw into a comfortable shell of just OK and timidity. However, He seems to be forcing me into situations that warrant boldness and courage. I am hard pressed to remain unmoved. I am hard pressed to stay hidden. I am hard pressed to bank the fire on my inside. I am hard pressed not to want to break out of this place of small and weak, not just for myself, but for a generation that will be here long after I’m gone.

I was at a meeting (what we call church programmes here) sometime ago, and words were spoken over me. The power of God enveloped me so tightly I almost couldn’t breathe. And while I was there, thinking about the words and seeing the resonance in my own spirit, it dawned on me that being impactful takes a bold that many an average person wouldn’t dare. I remembered the prayers I’d been making, telling God to help me be more impactful and more deliberate and more of a person with meaning, depth, and substance to pass on to my here and now generation and also to posterity.

He was answering me. And I could hear Him loud and clear.

It may not be right now, but I sense it is drawing near, the time when what is within me will be blended together into a fine mix and I will be bold to bring it forth. Do I sense a struggle? Yes! Because I still sometimes like to be part of polite society. And there’s always a risk of closing that door when you step out on the path less traveled. 

So, boldness and courage to believe. Courage with my convictions. Boldness to stay, in difficult places, until the true me is developed. Courage to be broken, remaining in the purifying fire of trial until beauty and strength is brought forth. Courage to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 

Ephesians 3:16 (KJVA)

“…to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man… “

Brave, Courage & Bold II

I’ll be turning 25 in less than a month. It’s been quite a reflective time for me. Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I’ve been reading Yours Truly, Ele Momoh. And I am seeing myself through new eyes. 

In reading, I’m realizing that I have been a certain way, with certain thoughts, certain perspectives and a certain way of interpreting life for a long time. I realize that the same things have been important to me for a long time too. 

The one thing that I find I need to address as I approach this quarter of my life (I mean, I may just decide to live to be a hundred!) is the need to be courageous, brave and bold. 

Someone once said, Don’t tell a child to be creative. Insert them in a situation or an environment where they would be hard pressed not to be creative. I feel God is doing the same thing to me. He has told me for so long to be strong and courageous. Every time, I have managed to compromise and withdraw into a comfortable shell of just OK and timidity. However, He seems to be forcing me into situations that warrant boldness and courage. I am hard pressed to remain unmoved. I am hard pressed to stay hidden. I am hard pressed to bank the fire on my inside. I am hard pressed not to want to break out of this place of small and weak, not just for myself, but for a generation that will be here long after I’m gone.

I was at a meeting (what we call church programmes here) sometime ago, and words were spoken over me. The power of God enveloped me so tightly I almost couldn’t breathe. And while I was there, thinking about the words and seeing the resonance in my own spirit, it dawned on me that being impactful takes a bold that many an average person wouldn’t dare. I remembered the prayers I’d been making, telling God to help me be more impactful and more deliberate and more of a person with meaning, depth, and substance to pass on to my here and now generation and also to posterity.

He was answering me. And I could hear Him loud and clear.

It may not be right now, but I sense it is drawing near, the time when what is within me will be blended together into a fine mix and I will be bold to bring it forth. Do I sense a struggle? Yes! Because I still sometimes like to be part of polite society. And there’s always a risk of closing that door when you step out on the path less traveled. 

So, boldness and courage to believe. Courage with my convictions. Boldness to stay, in difficult places, until the true me is developed. Courage to be broken, remaining in the purifying fire of trial until beauty and strength is brought forth. Courage to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 

Ephesians 3:16 (KJVA)

“…to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man… “

Brave, Courage & Bold II

As I read through Scripture, I realize and hold to the conviction that God never made us to live empty, selfish lives. It would make no meaning whatsoever. 

There’s something distinctly God in every one of us that calls out to and for a depth that is beyond us. It’s obvious from the things that fascinate us. In science, we are mesmerized by the universe and planetary bodies. We want to go beyond, see beyond. Galaxies. The Milky Way. Other planets. Aliens (though I’m still very sceptical of any alien that isn’t as cool as Bumblebee or Optimus Prime). Beings and life from outside of our world. Then we move over to art. Depictions of heaven, hell and other matter that we only see in our dreams. Movies. Music. We are all reaching for a depth.

The thing is, all that we search for is in one place: Christ. I read a commentary in my Bible, just after Ephesians 1:3. There is a line that says that Jesus Christ (the Anointed One) is the Lord to whom we belong and the SPIRITUAL PLACE where every believer is presently located. Think about it: we are already within that depth that we are grappling for…at least you are if you are born again. 

Now, for the boldness to live like you are there. 

A good number of us lack that. We would rather embrace the parts of us that are easy to handle than let ourselves be drawn into and in by this Anointing. We pretend that only our pastors and leaders need courage. That’s laughable. If anything, we need it more than they do. Why? Because they have proven to us over centuries that they will not hide beneath anything: not scandal, not mistakes, not fallibility, not success. They have shown us what it means to reach continually for the anointing, no matter where it sucks you, and to live courageously and meaningfully by the power of God. 

I think it’s about time the rest of us, on the opposite side of the pulpit, put aside our safety nets and jumped headlong into the depth that is Jesus, disregarding everything else. Is it easy? Err, maybe you should jump and find out. What’s the outcome going to be? Again, jump. Maybe when we jump into that anointing, that blood of Jesus that we like to sing about, leaving inhibition behind, we just may find all the peace and contentment we seek, and more. And then we will be able to help others dive in too. 

The meaning and substance we seek, we will find as we surrender, and as we do, we will find that it is quite easy to live fully, deeply, courageously and more impactful. 

Being brave never gets old. Reach for the Anointing, and let it do in you and to you what it should. 

Brave, Courage & Bold

So, I have been going back in time. I feel like my life is a time capsule which I open every decade or so. It’s amazing seeing myself in retrospect. I ask myself sometimes why I attempted to (and obviously succeeded at!) documenting so much of my life. It’s been in me, always, this recording and keeping track. 

I am presently reading a notebook that has my writings from May 2010. I turned 18 in May 2010, the 23rd precisely. Yeah, and that was my way of telling you all that my birthday is approaching. Don’t say I didn’t tell you oh! 

In this notebook, I am reading things that are blessing and impressing me out of the water! And it’s this reading that gave rise to this post.

First, let me back up and apologize for the long spaces in between my posts. I’ve been writing for some time now so I don’t necessarily lack for material. I just sometimes lack the courage. I wonder if I’m ready to wave goodbye to all the good opinions I’ve been riding on. I wonder if this will affect someone the wrong way. I wonder if people will understand that this is what I’m trying to say and not this other thing. I wonder if anyone will be able to relate. I wonder if I’m being too forward. I wonder and wonder and wonder until I feel the seams in my head slowly reaching disintegration point then I switch it off, head to YouTube and watch “This I Promise You”.

But as I read me, I realize that I’ve always desired to speak from my heart, hard as it may be. I’ve always desired to be true, to be authentic, not just a babbling intellectualist. I’ve always longed to be brave with my help, with my love, with my actions, with my conviction. And I’ve always known that truth comes at a cost and honesty requires a price. 


Bravery is such a wonderful word, so noble. Look at that. BRAVE. Quite dashing when you imagine it. But it’s price isn’t always so wonderful and dashing. The price of bravery is a risk of losing the world you know for one you think could be better. No one else has seen this world, no one has heard of or even believes in this new world, but you. 

Bravery sometimes means uncountable lonely and sleepless and cold nights. Bravery sometimes means that you take a risk believing that this better world you envision is  there, and not just a figment of imagination.

And bravery, courage and boldness can only be brought into question when a heart is involved; a personal matter that the brave one carries within himself or herself with so much significance. 

I wrote a poem on being brave. I’ll share it in my next post. Reading it brought me to see that if I never get bold, I just may be hoarding the solution of an entire generation. If I don’t take courage, I may never be able to help anyone truly. If I don’t rise up bravely, no one else will hear the stories that I alone could write or tell. 

So forgive me for not being brave. Forgive me for withholding such precious substance from you. Forgive me for doubting the Ever Present Strength and Ability that is our God. Forgive me for not writing more because I kid myself that I cannot make a difference. Forgive me…

…and be brave yourself. 

When We Are Afraid To Lose… 

For if your life is just about satisfying the impulses of your sinful nature, then prepare to die. But if you have invited the Spirit to destroy these selfish desires, you will experience life. 14 If the Spirit of God is leading you, then take comfort in knowing you are His children. 

The above Scripture is Romans 8:13-14 in the Voice Bible. I know!!! I simply cannot get over my love for this Bible version. 

I began to learn about the leading of the Holy Spirit when I was about 13 or 14 years old. It was a huge stretch for me. See, before that time, I’d been largely logical in my way of life. I questioned things a lot and I had learned to restrain a lot of my impulses beneath the weight of what I thought was acceptable attitude for a young lady, and shame. I didn’t really get the concept of simply “being led”. Everything I knew and trusted was something I could see, feel or figure out with my brain. I was never comfortable with unknown variables, and seemingly, that was all this Holy Spirit offered me. 

I got filled with the Holy Spirit and began to talk in tongues when I was about 18. And so much became clearer. But I still had a problem. 

How come the Holy Ghost had to lead me to do the strangest things? Wasn’t He aware of the kind of people I lived with in this world? Most people already interpreted me weird, and I never did have a precise answer for every single thing. Mount more weirdness by telling them God’s Spirit led me to… 

But with time I discovered that everything I tried to protect myself from and preserve in disobeying Him, I eventually lost. In continually violating His word to me, I kept fighting losing battles and losing values. 

Romans 8:14 says that if God’s Spirit is leading you, take comfort, rest, relax and chill, knowing He has considered you a part of the Family. 

God has got the entire picture. He knows where every single dot connects, and it’s part of our love relationship to trust Him to get us into the Big Picture He made. He knows exactly why He asks you to do what He says. He knows how hard it may be, but that’s why we take comfort. Because we are His children. And He has not brought us into fear, but into hope and joy and love and life. Don’t be scared of what you might lose. If you try too hard to keep it, you might lose it anyway. Even if you look like you’re losing, shut your eyes and obey Him. He knows exactly what He’s doing. 

And for some of us who may feel like we have wrecked our lives and other’s lives because of our disobedience and reluctance, I like to take God’s reconciliation package. 

He has restored us back into a healthy and blossoming 

relationship with Himself and ourselves. 

Strength and courage be yours on this day. 

I love you, and God loves you much more!