It’s pretty obvious what today is, isn’t it? And I can feel my silliness climbing rapidly. Oh well.
I’d always attempted to imagine what it’d feel like when I turned 25. Definitely not like this. For me, it’s a dawning. The past couple of years have been crazier than words can describe, and I had thought that I need to get my act together before I step on this threshold of 25. You see, it’s like a line that I’m crossing. I wanted to cross the line without my plethora of mistakes and at least the semblance of a presentable life.
The past few years leading up to this one have been trying, to say the least. However, they have also been the building blocks that led me here. There were days when I longed to be someplace else but where I was, with someone else other than the people I was with, and even someone else than who I am. I longed to escape the discomfort, the pain, the troubles, the uncertainties and the pressures. But I’m glad I didn’t.
Arriving at this threshold made me realize a number of things. I’ll share.
- Perspective means everything. God’s perspective is everything.
- While a lot comes with age, even more comes with humility and obedience.
- There is nothing as important as my heart. It is what makes me who I am and what defines the continuity of my existence.
- There’s no point trying to prove a point.
- Contentment is a worthy companion. She comes along with peace, tomorrow’s promise, and the steadiness that protects faith from wreckage.
- There will never come a day when anyone is 100% satisfied with me, and vice versa. Righteousness is simply good for me.
- God is truly not angry with me.
- I’ll always be imperfect, but there’s not another of me anywhere on the planet, so I’d better give my best to those I am with and be happy with this me.
My heart is full, and my narrative lacks coherence, but I can’t seem to coordinate properly thinking about God’s grace. Suddenly, His corrections and instructions are full of life to me. Suddenly, He is more precious to me than I ever esteemed. Suddenly, I really panic at the thought of doing without Him. And suddenly, in my seeming moment of great defeat and “non spirituality”, His Words are becoming life to me. Everything God says has taken on a new and deeper meaning. And it is getting easier to see me the way He always did.
Now I know what I want to look like in 25 years: A tree planted by the rivers of living waters; oak of righteousness, the planting of the Lord; flourishing in the courts of God.
I want to be a steady, fruitful, wise, insightful woman who dispenses wealth and whose life is deeply impactful in all the ways that matter. And as long as I keep my heart on my precious Lord whose strength is mine, you’ll be reckoning with a fiery force in another quarter of a century!
I’m planted; ready to flourish. I’m lit; ready to glow. I’m here; ready to stay. Ready to live, to love and to conquer!
I’m on fire.