I’ll be turning 25 in less than a month. It’s been quite a reflective time for me. Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I’ve been reading Yours Truly, Ele Momoh. And I am seeing myself through new eyes.
In reading, I’m realizing that I have been a certain way, with certain thoughts, certain perspectives and a certain way of interpreting life for a long time. I realize that the same things have been important to me for a long time too.
The one thing that I find I need to address as I approach this first quarter of my life (I mean, I may just decide to live to be a hundred!) is the need to be courageous, brave and bold.
Someone once said, Don’t tell a child to be creative. Insert them in a situation or an environment where they would be hard pressed not to be creative. I feel God is doing the same thing to me. He has told me for so long to be strong and courageous. Every time, I have managed to compromise and withdraw into a comfortable shell of just OK and timidity. However, He seems to be forcing me into situations that warrant boldness and courage. I am hard pressed to remain unmoved. I am hard pressed to stay hidden. I am hard pressed to bank the fire on my inside. I am hard pressed not to want to break out of this place of small and weak, not just for myself, but for a generation that will be here long after I’m gone.
I was at a meeting (what we call church programmes here) sometime ago, and words were spoken over me. The power of God enveloped me so tightly I almost couldn’t breathe. And while I was there, thinking about the words and seeing the resonance in my own spirit, it dawned on me that being impactful takes a boldness that many an average person wouldn’t dare. I remembered the prayers I’d been making, telling God to help me be more impactful and more deliberate and more of a person with meaning, depth, and substance to pass on to my here and now generation and also to posterity.
He was answering me. And I could hear Him loud and clear.
It may not be right now, but I sense it is drawing near, the time when what is within me will be blended together into a fine mix and I will be bold to bring it forth. Do I sense a struggle? Yes! Because I still sometimes like to be part of polite society. And there’s always a risk of closing that door when you step out on the path less traveled.
So, I pray for boldness and courage to believe. Courage with my convictions. Boldness to stay, in difficult places, until the true me is developed. Courage to be broken, remaining in the purifying fire of trial until beauty and strength is brought forth. Courage to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
And I pray the same for you, too.
Ephesians 3:16 (KJVA)
“…to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man… “