“My Life is More”

Love is more, it is much more.

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I am a total fan of the TV Series, One Tree Hill. I know it’s completely 2007, juvenile, and for teenage girls, but you can’t blame me. I was a teenage girl when I first saw it. Yes, first, and yes, I have seen it more than twice. In fact, I am currently watching it again. Ha! I like to watch movies with perspective, which is why I watch it more than once. That way, I can look out for what I missed the first time when I was too emotionally involved to be objective about anything that was going on.

Anyway, I am watching One Tree Hill all over again, and paying more attention than I did the last time, trying to see and hear beyond the opinions that my clique of friends expressed when we all saw it together. I am at a certain point in my life, so it seemed only natural that I would be looking to draw something meaningful even from such a drama filled series.

Season 3 has the Naley Reunion (Nathan Scott and his wife, Haley). They need a reunion because Haley left on tour in Season 2 after an ultimatum issued her by Nathan, and she eventually came back after a long time but they have been separated ever since. Trying to get back together is one of Haley’s major goals. So I am watching this scene and Haley has won Nathan in a game called “Fantasy Boy Draft” where girls pick guys they like and/or want and take them out. Haley, in hopes of reminding Nathan about the early buddings of their love in order to help him decide against an annulment and stay together, organizes a date. Of course, interruptions from the aggravating Chris Keller and an irritated Brooke Davis crash some of her plans, but she isn’t to be deterred. At some point during the date, however, Nathan says that he wishes they never got married because it feels he forced her into something she didn’t want. Naturally, Haley is taken aback. When she questions him about it, his response is that he feels Haley would’ve had so much more in her life if he weren’t there to keep her restricted. Then she looks at him with those expressive eyes that are full of love for the man Nathan is (even though he is still 17), and she tells him how she broke down on tour, in front of a crowd of 3,000 people, to the sound of “Missing You”, because she realized that it all meant nothing without Nathan. And then she says to him, “You’re right, Nathan. Maybe this wasn’t the life I would’ve had. It is so much more…with you.” Or something like that. Haha. It is a total “Naley” moment, and it has the desired effect on me (I am a true romantic!). Her reply takes me somewhere that is entirely off the set of One Tree Hill. It made me think about sometimes when we meet certain people who eventually become a major part of our lives; people who are anything but safe. They have a bold existence, and by being in your life, they make you really live. Your normal safe life becomes a spectacle, and a beautiful one at that. They make you scream, cry, and get mad, but most of all, they make you love. You become vulnerable, too. Your safe spaces are finally invaded, and nothing is the same. Do you yet understand how elastic your life becomes after love? You cannot be the same person. No, not with actual love. You are stretched beyond the limits of your comfort and your own selfishness into the world of another. Oh, wow. It is the most amazing and humbling thing (albeit scary at times).

Haley did a song at Tric in Season Two of One Tree Hill, and in it she said, “…but if I cry a little, die a little, at least I know I lived…” and this was after she married Nathan. I completely understand her saying her life was more. She wasn’t just thinking of getting by like every other 17 year old at Tree Hill High. Her life was full. Her life was more.

neksissss

So. Here’s my question: Have you let anyone make your life full in recent times? My dear, you need it. When you look past the ups and downs, the inconveniences, the possible pain (‘cause I can’t lie about that though), the rigour, and even the joy of love, you will experience its power. I haven’t known or heard of anything that could change a life like love. This human heart, it was made for love. We can’t resist it. People who do, they have a hard time of it. The configuration of our humanity is set in love. Love is the singular thing that can reset the factory settings of any human here on earth. LOVE IS FULLNESS. LOVE IS MUCH, MUCH MORE.

Now, if you have loved and lost, that’s a story for another day. However, I would love to give you some perspective on love and loss, so maybe you should look out for when I write about that. I promise you, it’s great perspective, straight from the heart of Love Himself.

Oh, and by the way, you were right. Nathan and Haley are my favourite couple on the show! Haha!

Learning and living love,

Ele.

 

Courage for Honesty 

I really admire the way some people talk about honesty and vulnerability as though it is the easiest thing in the world. It is truly admirable. “Just say it”, they say, not realizing the mental and physical difficulties involved in “just saying”. And I think, Why don’t you just say it if it’s so easy? I, for one, have a bit of a difficulty being honest many times. Now, don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean I go about lying to people or cowering in fear when I need to speak. It just means that important moments that require that painful (yet freeing) kind of honesty leave me wildly ruffled and frightened. 

Now, for example, every time I have to write a blog post, I think about it so hard one would wonder if this was really a decision about world peace and not a blog post. I go over my sentences word by word, analysing and wondering if I shouldn’t change this expression or delete that joke. I wonder if I am funny enough or if I sound sophisticated enough. I mean, there are lots of other bloggers and writers who do this probably even better than I do and reach even more people than I do. What is the point?

My thoughts jam at this question: WHAT IS THE POINT? 

The answer began to come together for me in bits and pieces. One word here. A memory there. A picture from Pinterest. A comment on an article of mine. And little by little, I began to see the point. 

I began to see that my honesty could cost someone something precious. I don’t just need to be honest; I am needed for my honesty. My gift will thrive in honesty and openness; when I am able to bring out words as they should be because they will answer the questions in the heart of another. The world will be a better place by degrees when I am honest. I don’t mean just to say what I think people imagine is the truth they want, but to say those things that God would use me to say. True, I was worried that I had nothing new to say. After all, there have been so many writers before me, more eloquent and graceful; faithful and accurate communicators. Why me? And then I realized that it may have truly all been said, but never by me. And there are people waiting who will only ever respond to the words that come out of my mouth. How do I know this? 

I was listening to an audio message and heard this pastor talk about a little research he did. Thinking about the phrase “one in a million”, he did a bit of Googling and realized that if each of us is truly one in a million, then at least 7,000 other people in this world get you – because there are approximately 7 billion people in this world…on this earth. Is that amazing or what? So I got thinking that if I am one in a million (and duh!), then there are 7,000 people scattered all over the world who will a) get me, b) get what I’m about, and/or c) be affected by something I do or say. This knowledge is infinitely comforting and encouraging because I can go about doing the things I know and love to do and not be choked by pressure to be someone I’m not or fear of failure because I know that there is someone (multiply that by 7,000) who is bound to be blessed, impacted, affected, made happy or changed by an ordinary act of mine. 

I don’t know about you, but it even makes me feel a lot better about my otherwise ordinary existence. I now walk with the sense that I CAN DO THIS, and it gives me such hope and confidence! I am not afraid to be my regular self any longer because I am learning what is packed on my inside and I know that if I can just bring it out for the sun to shine upon it, the reflection will hit someone else in the eyes and bless their life as well. The thought that I can be used to cause someone’s “Road to Damascus” encounter in a most normal but deeply significant way just blows me away. And that’s one reason I desire honesty – to use my extraordinary gift in the most spectacularly ordinary way. 

It would surprise you to know that I only recently acknowledged this gift in me. Many others have done so before now, and more will do so in time to come. However, the acknowledgment that counts most is that of the gifted about his gift (Philemon 1:6). With this acknowledgment has come the desire to brave the fright and be truly honest. To speak about the wildness of life and love when God is in it. To tell about the darkness that plagues a soul unable to see Him. To tell of the greatness that is divine love and its effect on the human heart. To pour out and share with you times that will change your mind, your perception, your vision and if I dare it, your future.

So now I’m not just praying for the courage to be honest; I am standing up in the boat to put my feet out there on the water, in the storm. It’s exhilarating. It’s me, Ele! I’m actually doing this! My heart is beating wildly. I know I will make a few honest mistakes, but at least I won’t do it hiding. I anticipate the journey, the pain, the joy, the satisfaction, the victory that is to be found in letting go. 

Join me. 

(Oh, and have you noticed how much I’m using the word “wild”? Gets me WILDLY excited. Haha!) 

When We Are Afraid To Lose… 

For if your life is just about satisfying the impulses of your sinful nature, then prepare to die. But if you have invited the Spirit to destroy these selfish desires, you will experience life. 14 If the Spirit of God is leading you, then take comfort in knowing you are His children. 

The above Scripture is Romans 8:13-14 in the Voice Bible. I know!!! I simply cannot get over my love for this Bible version. 

I began to learn about the leading of the Holy Spirit when I was about 13 or 14 years old. It was a huge stretch for me. See, before that time, I’d been largely logical in my way of life. I questioned things a lot and I had learned to restrain a lot of my impulses beneath the weight of what I thought was acceptable attitude for a young lady, and shame. I didn’t really get the concept of simply “being led”. Everything I knew and trusted was something I could see, feel or figure out with my brain. I was never comfortable with unknown variables, and seemingly, that was all this Holy Spirit offered me. 

I got filled with the Holy Spirit and began to talk in tongues when I was about 18. And so much became clearer. But I still had a problem. 

How come the Holy Ghost had to lead me to do the strangest things? Wasn’t He aware of the kind of people I lived with in this world? Most people already interpreted me weird, and I never did have a precise answer for every single thing. Mount more weirdness by telling them God’s Spirit led me to… 

But with time I discovered that everything I tried to protect myself from and preserve in disobeying Him, I eventually lost. In continually violating His word to me, I kept fighting losing battles and losing values. 

Romans 8:14 says that if God’s Spirit is leading you, take comfort, rest, relax and chill, knowing He has considered you a part of the Family. 

God has got the entire picture. He knows where every single dot connects, and it’s part of our love relationship to trust Him to get us into the Big Picture He made. He knows exactly why He asks you to do what He says. He knows how hard it may be, but that’s why we take comfort. Because we are His children. And He has not brought us into fear, but into hope and joy and love and life. Don’t be scared of what you might lose. If you try too hard to keep it, you might lose it anyway. Even if you look like you’re losing, shut your eyes and obey Him. He knows exactly what He’s doing. 

And for some of us who may feel like we have wrecked our lives and other’s lives because of our disobedience and reluctance, I like to take God’s reconciliation package. 

He has restored us back into a healthy and blossoming 

relationship with Himself and ourselves. 

Strength and courage be yours on this day. 

I love you, and God loves you much more! 

Cinderella Stories: Forget The Past 

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have made it my own yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,
PHILIPPIANS 3:13 AMP

One of the hardest things for people to do, it seems, is to forget. I mean, we can forget alright, when it’s our car keys or the password to our laptop, or the number of eggs you sent to your mother last month. We find it easy enough to forget mundane details of our daily existence. However, there are certain memories that seem to wake up with us everyday.

When I first read that God had cast my sin in the sea of forgetfulness, it didn’t quite register. How is there a sea of forgetfulness? Don’t things sink to the bottom and stay, waiting to be discovered like precious treasure by pirates? I couldn’t quite get it. Well, this was mostly because I wasn’t used to sin and error being cast aside so…cavalierly. Like it never happened. Really? There had to be a catch. Turns out, there actually is a catch.

This kind of thinking affected me for so long that I found it hard to believe that my errors didn’t make a dent in God’s goodness and love for me. I was brought up drunk on justice, with a little bit of mercy on the side, so I thought that I should always be rewarded for my good and bad actions but I should relent where others were concerned. 
See how twisted that is? And it turned into resentment after some time, with me wondering why I had to forgive other people if they wouldn’t forget what I had done. Because, in the real sense, forgiving is forgetting. Not forgetting as in amnesia; forgetting as in, it loses its hold on your mind. It ceases to torment you day by day. It ceases to hover over your consciousness like a shadow. It ceases to inform your thoughts and feelings toward yourself, others and God.

Now, when did I learn all this?

After I got super tired of being angry and bitter at (guess who?) myself. That’s who was hurting. That’s who couldn’t move forward. That’s who couldn’t forget. And that’s who needed to forget. And not in a phony, “OK, I’m not thinking about it anymore” way, but in a real, “Sweet Jesus, I’m tired of doing my style and I want to do yours so I throw this on you and I’ll not take it back” way. And it always works.

See, you don’t surprise the Lord with your failings and your unhealthy need to want to fix yourself. However, He really would rather you left the fixing up to Him.

I looked up Scriptures on His love, healing, His goodness, the covenant, forgiveness and comfort. And then, I prayed. And then I cried. And then I raved. Then I cried some more. And prayed some more. And for the first time in a long time…ding! I could see hope. I wasn’t looking at the past all the time. I wasn’t shackled there and trying to free myself in my effort.

I was seeing a bluer sky and browner grass (it’s that way in my city during harmattan).

Did the memories and thoughts come back?

As persistent as you please. But now, I don’t let them hold me in their grasp for too long before I shake myself. I remember quicker that that’s not me;

I’ve let bitterness go, and I’m living a good life.

“The Lord your God is in your midst, A Warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with joy; He will be quiet in His love [making no mention of your past sins], He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.”

ZEPHANIAH 3:17 AMP

Cinderella Stories (Cont’d.)

Okay. I know I have titled my posts “Cinderella Stories” but it doesn’t mean I won’t include man talk. Ah. A strictly girl blog without sprinkles of spicy man talk, hmmm, now that’s just wrong.

Men, as in, the male man, are important to us. In fact, I pray that I am able to help you see from God’s Word that neither male man nor female man is the bad guy. We are a superb mix of sweetness, roughness, toughness, a little bit of sour stuff, and we blend quite well together when we walk with God’s plan in mind. So, no, I’m not a feminist and I won’t be bashing the guys.

I will laud them from time to time. However, my goal here is to help ladies see that YOU ARE A PERSON THAT GOD TOOK CARE AND TIME TO MAKE, FOR A REASON. You aren’t the traditions of Africa or America or Antarctica. You aren’t an afterthought put here on earth to suffer. You are crafted, as you, because a difference has to be made here


and it has to be you who does it.

So. Cinderellas. Belles. Jasmines. Anastasias. Ariels. Janes. Pocahuntases. Esmeraldas. Muanas.

You have a place in this world, and in the Father’s heart. But first, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
I appreciate you reading, and I’d very much appreciate your comments below. Please feel free to share the link with your friends. It’s blessing more people than you and I know.

Much love,

From Delight Palace,

E.

Cinderella Stories 

I always wondered how possible it could be for a human being to experience pain in places that eyes cannot see. Even worse, how they could live with such pain for a long time.

My name is Ele Momoh, and I will be 25 in a few months. TMI?

I don’t have a theory on heartbreak. I just want everyone to be happy. See, I’m the kind of girl that believes that the movie must end with everybody happy, not just Cinderella and the Prince. The evil sisters are evil, but they’re just looking for love too. And I bet you if the Prince genuinely fell in love with one of the evil sisters, we would

a) never forgive him

b) rewrite the script

c) imply that he was bewitched or something equally horrible.

But we forget, in real life, sometimes, Cinderella is the evil sister. She isn’t demure and patient and thoroughly meek and loved by all the fairies. Sometimes, Cinderella is loud and bright and shiny, so shiny we could live on her in lieu of the sun (not figuratively). Sometimes, she’s annoying and prone to outbursts of anger. Sometimes, she speaks her mind and other times, she’s afraid to. Sometimes, her dream is to work as a mechanic in a body shop. You get my drift?

You can’t really classify Cinderellas anymore. We have to understand that every woman is her own Cinderella, with her own set of problems, her own flaws, her own issues, her own insecurities and doubts, and that ultimately, God is her Prince Charming.

Many a woman has had her heart severed or dissected because she believes that there is something wrong with her because she isn’t the perfect Cinderella. She has found it hard to accept herself for who she is because she feels, by some experience or another, that there’s something fundamentally wrong with her makeup, and she needs to change.

“Must be more outgoing.”

“Must try to be more quiet.”

“Why do I always say what comes to my mind?”

“Why can’t I be more deep and reflective like…?”

“I have to gain weight.”

“I have to lose weight.”

“Geez! I need fuller boobs!”

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!”

As clichéd as it sounds, women subconsciously struggle with these pointed attacks at their identity and worth, and they can never tell who the enemy is. They think their bodies are the enemy. They think their emotions are against them. They think they are too weak-willed or strong-willed.

Honey, it is nothing of the sort. I’ll tell you who’s out to get you.

It’s the devil. And this isn’t new, considering he has always tried to use the woman against herself since the Garden.

BUT.

Ladies! Stop me already! Why are you letting me get ahead of myself?

I hope and pray that I make a difference in at least 1 lady’s life through this blog. It’s a journey for me, too, mind you, and I trust I’ll enjoy discovering who I truly am as we do this together.

But you should know this before we go on: we will never know who, what, how, and why we are outside of our One, First and Everlasting Love – our Lord God Almighty.

I pray you keep reading, and the more you read, the more I write (or is it the other way round? Lol.)

Much love,

From the place full of joys,

E.